My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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