PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
