Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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