dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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