Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
