i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
