Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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