So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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