this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
