Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize