out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
