He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Oh god it's open bar.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
