It was confusing and full of hummus
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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