He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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