she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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