Someone shit on the floor
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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