i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
