i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
