Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
