I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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