Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
