that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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