Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize