With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
