Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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