there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
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I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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