i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
