i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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