I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
