At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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