like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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