real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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