guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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