And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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