Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize