wakey wakey hands off snakey
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
