is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
