she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
