1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
