You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
