I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
