Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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