guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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