My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
