i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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