Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
