I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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