is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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