Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
