So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
