I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
