I threw up into my coffee this morning.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
