Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
