literally had 100 drinks last night.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
