I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
