I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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