you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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