The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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