just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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