Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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