M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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