there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
