Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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