i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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