my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
